I’m a big fan of lists.
At work, I have a “To Do” list. It’s supposed to keep me on track, making sure I stay on top of projects and get things in on time but it usually becomes more of a “Put This Off Until Someone Asks You For It” list.
I also have a “Honey Do” list at home. But he’s not the handiest of honeys and so that list just becomes the “Crap We Need to Pay Someone To Do” list.
So, I’m on record as pro lists.
But lately I have become a bit overwhelmed by the proliferation of lists on the internet. Almost every article has some number theme such as:
- The Top 10 Reasons to Be a Librarian
- 5 Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth
- Top 10 Ways of Getting Arrested
And the list goes on and on.
I realize that this isn’t anything new, magazines have been masters of lists for years plastering their covers with top five or ten lists of reasons, how to’s and whys. I get it, lists sell. They are quick, fun, sometimes even informative.
Yet, I have developed an irrational love/hate relationship with these list articles.
Irrational because I can give you a list (I know) of reasons why I actually love them.
- Some writers are brilliant and can make lists very funny and enjoyable to read.
- Others have a knack for providing valuable information that are digestible in bite-sized pieces, which is very convenient.
- I’ve already established my own affinity for lists.
Yet, I can’t really give you one, let alone a top 10, list of reasons these articles annoy me.
I’m sure someone funnier, more creative, or more prolific will probably come up with some fabulous top 10 list of reasons why lists are so annoying. If so, I tip my hat to you.
But for now, I will leave you with this simple David Letterman-type list that I wrote many, many years ago.
It was a one-hit wonder, my 15-minutes of fame of being a “published author.” I submitted it to a magazine, which I’m not even sure is still around. It was accepted but sadly ran without any byline.
Hopefully, I’m not breaking any copyright laws (not that I remember signing anything) by sharing it on my blog.
10 Things that Only Women Understand
- Spending $35 on cosmetics you don’t need just to get the free gift.
- The joy of spotting cellulite on a younger, thinner woman
- The difference five pounds can have on your life
- Why you can always “use” the restroom even if you didn’t feel the “need”
- The rationale behind chocolate chip cookies and a Diet Coke
- The sense of accomplishment that comes from a clean refrigerator, clean toilets, clean clothes, a stocked pantry and a full gas tank
- Decorative pillows and baskets – lots and lots
- Cleaning the house the night before the cleaning people show up
- The joy of finding a “skinny” mirror
- The importance of knowing the difference between charcoal grey, barely black and black